…about the redundancy of jobs. Having a job, period.
I had an episode last night. You could call it a psychotic episode if you want. I just got a little off track in my mind, and started talking about people following me. Something My Love has only seen a few times. So it was pretty embarrassing and hard for me. It started with a panic attack, and ended with paranoia about people.
How does that and a job tie in together? Well, I’m probably getting stressed out. I signed up for many jobs this past month. Probably 4. Along with writing my book and keeping up with this blog. So, that, on top of everything else I have to do like keep up house while My Love is at work, is very stressful for me. It’d be stressful on anyone, but add in someone like me who deals with mental health problems, and only has been able to function normally for about 4 years now.
Ok. So I’m not exactly taking a break. I’m not exactly gonna do much to handle this right now. Because I have not worked for almost 2 weeks now. I’ve been burnt out, and depressed.
With that said. I DID want to document this. I’m normal. I’m mentally ill. My Love tells me all the time, “Quit sitting in a dark room, in silence, on your phone all day”. He’s so right, and I need to stop, but I did that for almost 10 years while being sick. It’s a hard habit to break.
So I started a new job in my area. Yes, pretty much a third or fourth job. Something akin to Instacart and UberEats. I’m still working my own schedule, and making money on my own time.
I’m really enjoying this independence thing! My own apartment, my own job, my own money, and living with My Love. It’s wonderful. It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to say, “Hey, I’m dealing with a disability, but i’ve got a hold on it. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never let it have power over me!”. It’s beautiful, it really is.
Glad to have a routine, too. Something I outlined in my book. Check it out sometime!
I’m thinking, maybe, a volume 2? Or a second edition? We will see.
Stay tuned to all the great things happening! Sometimes there is sadness, though, yes it happens! Enjoy the picture of me and My Love for now!
I’ve been here at this new apartment for a little over a month now. I’ve also been sick since we moved here. I’ve had migraines, runny noses, dry coughs, vomiting, etc. I wondered for a second about black mold, but I couldnt find any anywhere in this tiny place.
I think a lot of this sickness has to do with stress. My friend reminded me that stress CAN lower your immunity to sicknesses. One ends for me, and something else starts.
I’ve conquered moving. Yay, right? Yes, but I am also in the process of starting a new job, trying to get more fit, and eat better. Amongst other smaller feats i’m trying to handle.
Long story short, I need to work on my coping mechanisms/skills. I need a hobby, or something to make and sell, or something. Anything to get out of this dreaded mind of mine.